Welcome - European Network on Family Group Conference

It took me a few hours of peace because I didn't know until the last minute before it started if FGC would be cancelled. And also because the tension and mood between the two main participants, the parents, was more than explosive. This is evidenced by one of them asking, among other things, "What if we fight?" 

Carla and Lizzy are 14 and 15 years old. At the ages of two and three, they came to live with foster parents, with whom they grew up. At that time, their parents were already separated. While Carla and Lizzy only met their parents from time to time during their childhood, contact became closer and more regular when they were teenagers.

Jordan was 13 when he was initially referred to the Family Group Decision Making team to look at exploring the possibility of establishing some family connections. He had previously been in a kinship placement, but this had broken down, and he had had two further foster placements.

"How can I involve the father of three children if I literally can't exchange a word with him?" a child protection officer asked us. Four years ago, three girls had been removed from their home and placed in a foster family.

Thirteen-year-old Gabriela grew up with her mother and three siblings, and never knew her father. They moved frequently and by the time she was eight years old, her mother could no longer care for the children.

Johny and Anne were born to a mother who did not have it easy. She lacked the understanding of her own mother, her daddy left for a new partner. During her teenage years, she started using addictive substances.

Fifteen-year-old Jesica from the childrens' home had her FGC a year ago. She wished to meet her siblings, whom she had not seen for a long time. After a year, the coordinator interviewed her.

Z. is 8 years old. Her parents were separated, then her mother died. After a few moves, Z. comes to live with her grandparents, her grandmother also gets parental care. Z. has been living with her grandparents for three years. 

Mila is used to having children in the home who are being raised with love. She helps her mother a lot after school in taking care of her sister and foster the child. The father is very attached to the family. He is a favourite of his daughters. Unexpectedly, he dies. The family is in shock. Mila experiences it the hardest.

The parents of three-year-old Mariana have not lived together since she was born. Mariana´s mother was taking care of two years older brother from a previous relationship.

Jason and Patrick are two little boys at the age of 4 and 6. They are very active and they live with their mom, since their father has left them. They suffer from a kind of ADH and their mom was overtaxed with their upbringing and the daily things of life like household, appointments and […]

A single mother, who was involved in a fraud case, requested a FGC. She wanted to establish an emergency plan, that ensures that her seven-year-old daughter, Susi is being cared of in case of her emprisonment.

Danny is a student in 4th grade. He lives with his father and his father’s parents. Danny’s mother has a new family and rarely meets him. He does not speak about her and avoids contact. He knows that she has abandoned him.

Jakob, a nine years old very smart and clever boy, was taken into care after his stepfather became violent towards him. His mother, could not help him because she was drunk. Social Services were alarmed and Jacob went into stationary care some time and lived now with his aunt´s family. He wanted to go back to his mother.

Jane´s teacher noticed that Jane had not been herself for a long time. The cheerful girl had become a closed, serious girl. The teacher contacted the social worker, who began working with the family. After several visits, it became clear that the family was going through a difficult time.

10 year-old Anna has been growing up in a family of long-term foster parents for the last four years. Her mother was struggling with an illness that prevented her from caring for Anna, two children were born into the foster family in succession, and during the time of the covid, conflicts between Anna and the foster family increased.

A Family Group Conference (FGC) was organized for Dina – who is 19 years old - and her little daughter Shana. However, at the beginning of the meeting, the tension was palpable. This mostly because of the variety of people who were present.

In the mail that day, the coordinator received a request for FGC. Another case of a young child with one parent in prison and the other struggling with a difficult life. The goal of the meeting was clear. How to provide care for little Adam within the family?

Thao is an eleven years old girl. Her parents are origin Vietnamese. As I met her for the preparations for the FGC, I was impressed, how intelligent she was for her age.

Finally! After many years of separation, Ayla was united again with her parents and siblings! Ayla, an Afghanish child, came to Germany at the age of ten years as an unaccompanied youth. The circumstances forced her parents and siblings to sattle down in Greece.

The FuturePlanning for Jan, 19, took place in the first week of the summer holidays at the Youth Welfare Office. Besides Jan, his parents, his sister, his father's ex-wife, his stepbrother and friends took part. His caregiver joined him as a specialist during the information phase.

Delcia is a mother who has experienced the Child Protection system first hand. One of the Social Worker’s concerns in her last meeting was whether she had a strong network around her.

Ruben, a young man in his twenties, was suffering from regular accruing psychosis and had already been admitted to a psychiatric clinic several times. However, despite being hospitalized, Ruben never wanted his family to know about his psychotic episodes.

Nearly twenty years ago, Teresa held a meeting that was the first of its kind in Camden. The family were recently bereaved, the five boys lost their dad. Teresa is a family worker for Camden and was called to address the anti-social behaviour that four of the siblings were wreaking on their estate. She wanted to use FGC to address the family and community’s concerns.

A referral came in to our Cwlwm Family Group Conference service in North Wales, it was from a Social worker for an unborn baby, who was worried about drug and Domestic Abuse issues, they parents had been given notice to leave their property and they had not been engaging well with services.   

Nikesha is a social worker who recently collaborated with Family Group Conference coordinator Azara. She works for the Looked After Children team and has been working with a child who was placed in foster care after her mother removed her from school for a year due to mental health struggles.

Two girls aged 16 and 17 robbed passers-by on the street of their money and phones. Often these were girls and women or not too strong boys. Remarkable was the violence they used; kicking and hitting. The police were on top of this case and they were caught red-handed.

A mother of two teenage daughters had a few hours to live when the coordinator received a call from a social worker at the hospice where the mother had spent the last month of her life. Shortly after the call, the coordinator met with mom's siblings. The idea of meeting at the same table, including the children, appealed to them. The question for the family meeting (FGC) was how care would be provided for the children who had also lost their dad 5 years ago.

Azara first encountered a member of the family in a referral twelve years ago. In 2010, she organised a Family Group Conference for a mother and her children. The mother was experiencing mental health issues, and it was clear to her family that she was struggling.

When I, as a "citizen" coordinator, got an assignment for a FGC, where the family more or less was „forced“ to do the FGC but didn't really want to, I thought: how is this going to work? Here's a story about it.

Sandra’s brother Chris was supported by Family Group Conference last year. Adult FGC services got involved after complaints were made to the council by Chris’ neighbours. Sandra was not aware of Chris’ worsening situation due to the pandemic. During lockdown, Chris had become more isolated, and they discovered he had been cuckoo’d. 

Participants of an FGC very often mention how exciting the conference was, recounting the events. Not only at the start of a FGC process, but right upto the eventual gathering, people experience excitement.

Eva was born when her mother was no longer able to take care of her two older siblings and was placed in an institutional care. She celebrated her first birthday in a foster family where she spent ten years. After the death of her foster mother, short-term foster parents were found for Eva, to whom she confided that she would like to meet her biological family. The social worker thought of using FGC.

Supporting my mother in her daily life started with shopping together. However, due to her age, she declined more and more. The amount of care she needed increased steadily. My mother's greatest wish was to be able to remain in her familiar environment.

The independence of the Eigen Kracht-coordinator in an Eigen Kracht-conference is essential. This week I heard about a situation that illustrates this clearly. A mother of two children requests a conference, because the family guardian has informed her that her children may be removed from her home and she disagrees with this decision. She does not want to discuss it with the family guardian.

Family group conference with an 21-years old inmate in remand in Germany, Stuttgart. He was imprisoned because of  a considerably crime. He had a job and tried to graduate from school, until he was imprisoned. With the  family group conference, we tried to receive his job and school and to improve his chance to get a probation from the judge.

There had been a report of concern from school to Child Protection Services where the school was worried about three siblings aged 8, 10 and 13 years old. The siblings had started behaving like they had never done before and had a hard time keeping up the the lessons.

A father called the family group conference office in Hamburg. He wasn’t allowed to see his children anymore, because the mother was scared that the children would not be safe if they stayed with hem. The father had a lot of trouble. When he was calling he had no place to live.

The child protector was disappointed: ‘Plans that clients make together with their network, always contain elements that I couldn’t think of myself. That is the reason that I find it important that people make their own plan, without me being present. But this plan contains so few obligations that I don’t know what to do with it.’

The Tait family were referred to the Edinburgh FGC team, due to concerns around drug/alcohol use, domestic abuse, and poor attendance at school. The family consisted of Mum (Carol), Ellie (7), Hannah (6), Robbie (4), Liam (6 months) and dad of Liam (James). Initially Carol and James did not engage with FGC.

When I help families prepare their family council and we reach a difficult point where we can't expand the circle of important people, I think of Sarah. At the age of four, due to poor care and subsequent health problems, she was removed from her mother and placed in foster care for a temporary period of time. However, the family was encouraged to find a long-term solution.

K. is a 13 year old boy. He is living together with his mother, the father died some years ago. K. didn't go to school last year too often and also in homeschooling (in the pandemic times, the schools were closed) he was more often missed than present.

We have the tendency to focus on problems and then forget the strengths that are there, although not immediately visible. After many years of experience with ‘Eigen Kracht’ we dare to trust that there are always strengths. If you don’t see the strengths, you must look further and ask further until you find them. In a street in the South of the Netherlands there had been trouble for a long time.

In the Netherlands, over 10,000 plans have been crafted with the help of Eigen Kracht-conferences since the year 2000. Because of this, I sometimes meet people outside of my line of work that have experienced a conference. It also happens that a social worker requests their first conference because he or she themselves attended a conference privately. The latter happened recently.

A grandmother asked for a conference while her task of taking care of her grand-child 7 years of age, felt heavy. His mother had had a cerebral stroke the day after his birth and has been severly handicapped since. A couple of friends of the father took care of the boy for one year. Then he went to his great aunt on mothers side.

Peter, a 11 years old boy, faces difficulties at school. About a year ago he was diagnosed with dyslexia. His parents separated and divorced years ago. Since then he lives with his mother, who takes care of him. Couple of years ago she remarried. During the last school year, after a violent conflict at school, the class teacher demanded that Peter needs to receive professional help.

Silvia (14) and Maria (16) suddenly have an official guardian. Their parents have died in a tragic accident. Family and friends quickly find solutions in the acute situation together with the professionals from the youth welfare office, but there are different ideas about the future. The guardian proposes a FGC. In preparation, the FGC coordinator meets everyone and all of them are touched by the situation and want to help.

Adela is 10 years old, but even at this early age she knows what violence is. For years she has been a witness of domestic violence against her mother. The parents are divorced now. The father has a restriction order by the court, so he has no contacts with the girl and his former wife. The mother and the daughter have moved to live in another town, where they have some relatives.

Mr. Schmid is 87 years old and lives in a nursing home; he is widowed and has no children. From time to time he gets visits from his former neighbor Mrs. Hügel and his pastor Mrs. Maier. He has a legal guardian, Mr. Armle, and a niece, Mrs. Schäfer; he hardly sees either of them. Most of his friends have passed away. Mr. Schmid is often confused and doesn't even know where he is.

‘In the end it is not about being right or about self interest, but about being heard and being treated fairly’, was the conclusion of an employee of the neighbourhood team who had made a referral for a community conference for the residents of two flats. There was a lot of agitation and the neighbourhood team discovered that many colleagues had clients in the flat, separately from each other.

The parents of Paul, 9 years old, are going to be separated. The attempts to manage it together were unsuccessful, everyone is sad. The godmother proposes a FGC to support Paul now.

Tony is 12 years old boy. He is aggressive and often gets into conflicts with his classmates as he challenges them into fighting and boxing. The teacher of the class advices the family to try FGC.

Researchers have published about their qualitative research on Family Group conferences for suicidal adolescents in ‘Tijdschrift voor Psychiatrie’ (Magazine for psychiatry). They wrote about one of the cases they researched. It is an impressive story that shows the strength of this adolescent and his circle.

"I haven't seen my kids in 7 months, I miss them. They say my daughter has started walking, the older boys are in kindergarten. They live with my ex-partner. We communicate only by email", the father told the coordinator during the personal meeting. The mother described her situation in the following words: "The father is not interested in the children. I have offered him several times that he can come to see us. He has not come even once. The best thing would be for him to give up fatherhood. He's been angry to us. The children are afraid of him and don't want to see him. Neither do I anymore. I have a new partner who loves us."

Family Group Conferences can be used outside of a family context. They can be useful to deal with disputes between friends or between employers and employees. Jerome recently worked on a case that encountered both, where the boundary between friendship and work was confused.

The first conference happend in the year 2019. The initiator of the conference was a single mom with a little baby, nearly one year old. The mother unfortunately had a chronical illness. She often had to go to the hospital or sometimes she had to call the ambulance in the night, when it was nessecary to have a doctor quickly. At the moment of the first family group conference the mother lived together with her sister.

‘I want to take my granddaughter and educate her. Her mother shoved her out of the house and she has gone to live with the family of a friend. She’s sleeping in the living room’.

‘A great example of giving trust’, said my colleague this week when she told me about a Family Group Conference for four children. She was talking about the trust that the Family Guardian had in a family, in a situation that was not simple and where the concerns were big.

Cristina is a Family Group Coordinator who was struggling to get in contact with a father. He is a full-time activist, which meant he was either up a tree or underground in London’s tunnels, out of reception and reach. She was trying to contacting him to arrange a meeting.

It was a sunny summer’s day, I still remember very well… I found a letter in our mailbox. To: volunteer Anke and to all the people of EKC, 7 years ago, an Eigen Kracht-conferentie (editer’s note: ‘an EKc’ is the Dutch translation of a FGC) took place for my foster daughter Saskia and her daughter Lotte. It was not simple, we were quite nervous.

Lisa, a 16 year old girl, grew up in a strictly religious family in Germany. The elder she became, the less she felt understood and welcomed in her family, and she started doubting in the way of (religious) life her parents lived. She felt suppressed by her parent´s convictions and their ideas of life. Lisa started to rebel against her parents and their ideology.