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Making a plan in 5 days

A father called the family group conference office in Hamburg. He wasn’t allowed to see his children anymore, because the mother was scared that the children would not be safe if they stayed with hem. The father had a lot of trouble. When he was calling he had no place to live. Furthermore he had a shaky mental health, was addicted to alcohol and the mother was scared that the father would commit suicide.

For all these reasons the mother had contact with the youth welfare office and they advised her to refuse the father the contact to his children until court of law would have passed a resolution. The father however insisted on his right to see his children. Therefore there have been a lot of fights and arguments between the parents and the children suffered.

At the moment the father called the family group office the official hearing will have taken place three weeks later. The father wanted to make a plan for his visits and contacts with his kids for the period of time until the official hearing. The first contact between the coordinator and the father was on friday about noon. The coordinator started to get in contact with the mother and the youth welfare office to make clear if there were any restrictions for the plan, the family had to deal with. At the first contat the mother was very emotional. She was happy that the father wanted to find a solution, but she also had a lot of worries. She really wanted the father to see his children, but she also wanted the children to be safe. The mother wasn’t able to trust the father anymore. At the same time she was tired and broken because of the last weeks, the fights and trouble. And she felt left alone by the system and justice.

A conference was planed on Tuesday evening. Both parents invited two people, in total: three close friends and the child‘s uncle. The youth welfare office wrote a letter with the general restrictions, the family had to respect. When the coordinator came back, the mother started to cry: she was so relieved and happy about the soloution they discussed. The parents had managed to find a safe and accepted way with their network’s help!


A story from Germany

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