Welcome - European Network on Family Group Conference

„Forced“ to do a FGC

When I, as a “citizen” coordinator, got an assignment for a FGC, where the family more or less was „forced“ to do the FGC but didn’t really want to, I thought:

how is this going to work?

Here’s a story about it:
F. and T. are brother and sister, 4 and 6 years old.
They live with their parents.
The Youth Welfare Office was informed by the grandma (mother of the mother).
She told that the parents are completely drunk, in bed and neglect the children.
The parents have a problem with alcohol – as far as the others see it.
The parents themselves cannot see any problems and are angry with the granny, the Youth Welfare Office, the family helper …..
The granny offered the children to live in her apartment in the future.

A FGC was “ordered” by the Youth Welfare Office:
The questions:
How can T. and F. live safely?
What can help the children to cope with the situation?
What is the emergency plan when parents are “out of order”?
Participated:
T. and F.,
Mother and father (both were still not interested in the FGC – they felt forced to participate)
grandma
a friend of the mother
the social worker of the youth welfare office
a social worker of the family help

… and then they made a plan:
Everyone wants the children to grow up safe and secure.
The children stay at home with their parents
……..various activities were arranged.
There is an “emergency plan chain” for the children if something goes wrong:
The parents inform the mother’s friend, she immediately brings the children to her home.
If she is not available, the parents inform the grandma, who immediately brings the children to her home.
If both are unavailable, the parents phone one of the social workers or the emergency number of the Youth Welfare Office.
When the parents are no longer able to inform anyone, F. takes over. He gets a mobile phone with the emergency numbers.

After the FGC, the mother told me how happy she is now because she feels her children safe.
They had good communication with the grandmother.
She was so happy to have done the FGC.

And I was happy that they changed from “we are forced to do a FGC” to “we have a good and safe plan for the children”.
Since then, I am more comfortable to do such assignments!

A story from Germany