Welcome - European Network on Family Group Conference

Mereth and Lilly, eleven and thirteen years old, had lived in a group home for two years because of their mother’s life crisis. The mother had since overcome the crisis and the two girls were to return home. The mother had sole custody; other family members lived far away. The specialist from child protection service suggested a voluntary family group conference (FGC) to the family to identify who could support them if another crisis were to occur.

Mereth and Lilly had experienced their placement in the group home as an intrusion from the outside and were initially opposed to the idea of an FGC proposed by the social worker. Feelings of shame played a role, as did a desire to prove that the family could manage without outside help. Until the last moment it was unclear whether Mereth and Lilly would participate in the conference. However, when the guests arrived, the two came out of their rooms.

Two of the mother’s friends participated in the FGC; they had known Mereth and Lilly since kindergarten and had children of similar ages. They had not seen the two girls for two years, even though the girls had been back home for holidays and weekends for a long time. From the very first greeting there was a very cheerful and warm hello.

Only through the FGC, during the private family time, did the two friends learn about the extent of the crisis the mother had been through. They were shocked that they had known so little about it, even though they lived nearby. The plan that was developed therefore provided for regular contact in the future and for everyone to keep an eye on not only the children’s well-being but also the mother’s.

If an emergency did occur, the children could stay with the friends until the mother was better. Monitoring arrangements for afterwards were also considered. It was noticeable how relaxed and happy Mereth and Lilly were after the conference and how close they felt to the two friends. They were obviously proud that they had jointly worked out a good plan, entirely without outside help.

That this achievement, from the girls’ point of view, had nothing to do with the term ‘FGC’ was not important.