Welcome - European Network on Family Group Conference

Suddenly everything is different… How can Julian have a good future? – 1

Part 1 of 2

Julian’s mother contacted the Stuttgart Youth Welfare Office in January 2025 with a request for a family group conference (FGC) for her son, as she herself was seriously ill.
The order came in to the Familienrat-Büro (office for FGC in Stuttgart) on a Thursday and I received it a day later. The first phone call on the same day revealed that the mother was already in hospital and was so ill that she was waiting for a bed in a hospice. On Saturday, I visited the critically ill mother. I managed to draw up a list of those to be invited and formulate this specific task:

“The aim of the family group conference should be

• that Julian is placed in good and stable circumstances after my death
• and that I can let go of my role as a mother”

This was extremely moving and also challenging: family members and friends had to be reached in a very short space of time. They had to be prepared for the FGC, their consent had to be sought and they had to be sensitively prepared for the situation. On Sunday, there was no more feedback from the mother. Neither on Monday during the day.

On Monday evening, a friend of the mother got in touch: a first contact! She was able to make contact with all the other family members and all questions could be clarified with them. Because Julian’s grandmother was also ill, the mother’s distant sisters were also in the Stuttgart area and a family council with everyone on site at the mother’s hospital became possible.

At the same time, the Familienrat-Büro was able to hold a series of discussions with the social worker and the psychologist involved and prepare for their participation. The psychologist, who knew Julian from personal conversations, was able to come to the FGC and read out a letter. A deputy of the social worker was able to join the meeting online to clarify legal issues.

The family council was scheduled for Thursday afternoon, just one week after the order came in. When I arrived at the clinic, the mother had died shortly beforehand. Some family members and the son had accompanied her. Whether the family would now be willing and able to carry out the advice as planned was understandably completely open.
Gradually, the other family members and the psychologist joined them and the family decided to go ahead with the council as planned. Out of a desire to do what was necessary for Julian, grief and pain were put aside. Before the family phase, the family said goodbye to the mother who had been laid out, returned and drew up a plan.

During the planning phase, it emerged in conversation with the social worker that there were a whole host of complicated legal questions to be clarified that could not be answered at all in this situation.

So the day ended for Julian and his family with a great loss and a feeling of deep sadness and helplessness.

a story from Germany
Written by Jochen Ratmann – FGC Coordinator in Stuttgart and translated with DeepL.com (free version) and Marion Brunner, Familienrat-Büro Stuttgart, Germany